Day 54

And so another day has passed by with me still caught in the jaws of a shark but still breathing enough to be in excruciating pain. The lack of wanting to resolve issues from my partner is overwhelming in how much it hurts like hell. I’m praying for the best to happen while expecting that nothing will change. We will just stay the same. And I will just die a little bit more every day.

He love me still, this I know. I think, however, that I love him too much foe his good or mine. I thoght he would love me more if I told him how much he meant to me. But it seems as though it has only frightened him and pushed him further away. I am tired in my soul. I can’t keep up my energy. I can’t keep trying hard. I am just so hurt. I’m lost. I have lost precious time with him. I don’t think he ever sees our time together as precious. He says he sacrifices time with others to be with me. That makes me so sad. So very sad.

I hope that he can forgive and forget. I doubt I will ever forgive myself.

To hope and good things lost. May the best always return to our eyes so our light can continue shining bright.

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