From the Darkness, Light

On the worst of your days, when everything seems like it is in the dumps and nothing will ever save you from the darkness of your soul, remember one thing: after the darkest night comes the light.

Maybe all of that sounded very cliche. Maybe you are thinking, “This is not how you normally start anything on this blog site.” May you are wondering, “What has gotten into her, acting like she knows everything?”

The answer is simple. I simply got tired of the darkness I kept choosing. It was very hard to not choose to be in the dark because that has been my home for a decade and a half at this point. It was extremely difficult even to recognize that this is a choice on most days. Yes, my body chemistry may be against me. Yes, I may have physically induced depression. In the end, however, it is my choice how I react to this hormonal challenge. When I’m in physical pain, I can choose to moan and groan or I can choose to deal with it as needed. I decide to apply the same thought process to my way of dealing with my anxiety and depression. Believe it or not, it has been working.

I realize that this sounds overly simple. You are wondering why I’m making it seems like it’s so easy to just Not be depressed. It is not easy. It is an ever present entity and my greatest enemy. I’ve simply chosen to deal with it differently. While it is a struggle each time to both recognize I have a choice and that I can do something differently to change the outcome, I am trying very hard to go down that road to an important recovery. I am trying to accept my demons. I am trying to acknowledge my traumas without resenting them. I am trying to utilize my experiences to help others like myself (maybe even some of you?).

On your darkest days when it seems as though nothing will ever be worth it, when the world is against you and all you can do is hold yourself, rocking back and forth, crying yourself to sleep, or simply unable to feel a single thing, or stressed out Because you feel everything too much, remember this: You can always Choose.

You can choose to fight and recover. You can choose not to fight and continue to feel the way you do. You can choose to change something in your life to better support you and your happiness. You can choose to do the same thing over and over and somehow expect that your life will change. Realize, however, that your choices define who you are. Actions speak louder than any words spoken. If you act in a manner that is self-destructive or project a self that is less than worthy, then that is what you will be. If you act in a manner that demands respect and ensures that you self-worth stays intact (and maybe even grows) then that is what will happen.

Human beings are generally all about appearances. That is why so many depressed people go undetected: we act functional and fake it until we make it. However, you cannot trick yourself. You have to choose to be a different kind of person. You have to choose to see yourself in a different light. You have to accept any flaws you have and any fears you harbor. You have to also accept that there are unique quirks and strengths that make you appealing to others, if only you are willing to see yourself as such.

There are so many other things I could say in this vein but they won’t make a lick of difference if you aren’t willing to make a change and improve your life. If you don’t think you can reach for the stars, you won’t. If you don’t think you can overcome something, you never will. If you don’t think you can overcome your depression and face your fears/anxieties, then you can’t.

Conversely, if you think you can, no matter how many times you fail, you will eventually succeed. The key to success isn’t a talent or a predisposition towards something, it’s the willingness to stick to it. Grit is the key to success and it is the one factor common between every successful person on this planet, no matter where they are from or what walk of life they belong to.

I encourage all of you to attempt to create a paradigm shift in your life. If you can change your own outlook on life, you can change anything at all. Set yourself free from the chains of the monster knows as depression. It does not own you. Break free. From the darkness, light. Good luck!

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