Duality

It’s 3 am and I’m having too many self realizations to sleep. There is too much anger and resentment for me to rest. I am full of self righteous indignation. How dare someone treat me so badly my whole life that I am only now realizing that I should really love myself? There is a … Continue reading Duality

Crying, Trying

Last night, I cried a lot. For the first time in a long time, I just bawled. Usually, I Want to cry but can't. Yesterday, it just came pouring out of me without warning. I felt really sorry for myself. Mostly, I felt acute hurt, the kind of hurt that only comes from the people … Continue reading Crying, Trying

Unwelcome Memories

Ever get blitz attacked by unwelcome memories? Ever find yourself perfectly content, enjoying your morning, doing your thing but then suddenly something - a phrase, a smell, an article on the web - reminds you of an event you have done your best to put behind you and you are suddenly overwhelmed by a deluge … Continue reading Unwelcome Memories

Happy Pills

Recently, while visiting my doctor for unrelated reasons, I was given a depression screening questionnaire. I 'passed' the 'test' with flying colors. My doctor recommended I take anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. For a long time, I was pretty prejudiced against anti-depressants and for good reason. I had seen one of my relatives turn into a medically induced … Continue reading Happy Pills