My life is a nightmare and I can't get away from it. My past comes back to haunt me in new and more warped ways. Every time I think I've taken a step in the right direction, I'm shoved back about 30 steps in the opposite direction. I feel alone and unimportant. I'm just here … Continue reading recurring nightmare
Category: Love
Unwelcome Memories
Ever get blitz attacked by unwelcome memories? Ever find yourself perfectly content, enjoying your morning, doing your thing but then suddenly something - a phrase, a smell, an article on the web - reminds you of an event you have done your best to put behind you and you are suddenly overwhelmed by a deluge … Continue reading Unwelcome Memories
Lonely and Alone
Recently, I've been spending a lot of time feeling lonely and alone. This, in turn, makes me feel like a failure, someone who was easily forgotten and possibly replaced, someone with no prospects of a normal life, someone who will never amount to anything, someone who will die alone and unloved. I miss being in … Continue reading Lonely and Alone
Broken Dreams
This post began as an ode to a broken past and has ended as something else entirely. Anyone of us who has dared to dream has definitely found obstacles on the way to achieving said dreams. Some of us never make it to the 'achievement' part of that dream because we give up along the … Continue reading Broken Dreams
Incoherent and Irrational
A bout of depression has struck me once more. I feel incoherent and irrational today. I keep trying to go back in time and make sense of things. I keep on trying to figure it out - where did I make my first mistake and when did I make my last one? Sometimes, I regret … Continue reading Incoherent and Irrational
Deleted
Sweet Deception "It all seemed so perfect I guess lies are that way They wait until you're tangled in them Wrapped in their beauty and the minute you start to believe they're real They rip apart all the hope you had left." - Samantha King (Born to Love, Cursed to Feel) Hanging on to the … Continue reading Deleted
My Inner Landscape
Craggy and worn like a broken rock on the shoreline of a tumultuous sea, deep and unexplored like the darkest depths of the ocean, teeming with both horrific and indescribable creatures, with enough pressure to crumble mountains to dust - that is my current inner landscape. I alternate between anger and depression. The withdrawal symptoms … Continue reading My Inner Landscape
Tough Pill To Swallow
Someone told me recently that this is an year for renewal. With renewal comes an inevitable ending of some sort or the other. Some of us have lost everything we thought defined us. Some of us had something promising come crashing down around us. Some of us found success in something we never imagine we … Continue reading Tough Pill To Swallow
Broken
"Now I know there's no use tryin' To get me and you on the same page When you say that you love me you're lyin' Speakin' truthfully, I'm not sure why we keep fightin' You just go blame the bad timin' Admit it to me Speakin' truthfully, I love you more than you love me." … Continue reading Broken
Uphill Climb
There are so many stories from so many people about their Uphill Climb. I decided I would talk about mine today. I was born into a lower middle class family of four -I have a mother, father and younger sister. We moved a lot, usually on the whim of my father, from continent to continent, … Continue reading Uphill Climb