I've come to think of depression as a cancer of the mind. Your own body, your own consciousness, your own personality attack You. There is an enormous chance to no recovery. There is a slim chance of remission. There is an almost miniscule chance that it goes away permanently. Mostly, it returns, and then you … Continue reading Cancer of the Mind
Tag: depression
Anxious & Depressed – Covid Edition
Having a serious anxiety attack feels like a terrible and new experience all over again. It has been a long time since the anxiety and depression held at bay by medication and strong, supportive relationships filtered through it all and snuck in a back door I didn’t know was open. I didn’t even know I … Continue reading Anxious & Depressed – Covid Edition
Crying my eyes out
I have just spent the last hour and a half crying in the bathtub because I wish I didn't exist. It has been a while since I last felt this way but I think this was creeping up on me for the last several weeks. There are literally two people in this entire world who … Continue reading Crying my eyes out
Sick and Sad
Being sick is no fun at all. Having the cold, wheezing your lungs out, running a fever, throwing up, being unable to eat what you like, go where you like, do what you like - being sick is the absolute worst. Being chronically ill with a sickness that disables you is one of the most … Continue reading Sick and Sad
Disconnecting, reconnecting
I live far from all of my extended family. As a result, I had lost all touch with most of them and felt very disconnected from them all. After over a decade, I flew halfway around the world just to see them. After what I learned a couple days ago, I'm really glad I was … Continue reading Disconnecting, reconnecting
Boredom is Killing Me
Slowly but surely, boredom is killing me. I am stress eating constantly because I'm bored and getting depressed as a result. I have nothing to do and nothing I want to do, no motivation to do even the most basic things I really need to get done, no energy to keep up with the few … Continue reading Boredom is Killing Me
Scared to go to Therapy
I realized recently that I am actively avoiding going to therapy. I don't know exactly why I'm doing this but I am. I have a session coming up soon and have been trying to script exactly what I will and won't say to my therapist during that session. Why am I doing this? I have … Continue reading Scared to go to Therapy
Quick to Criticize, Slow to Praise
We live in a world where criticism is all too common and praise is hard to come by. I am guilty of criticizing freely and bluntly. I do, however, also try to give credit where it's due and to praise or compliment what I think is worthy. I just don't do it often enough. Appreciation … Continue reading Quick to Criticize, Slow to Praise
Happy Pills
Recently, while visiting my doctor for unrelated reasons, I was given a depression screening questionnaire. I 'passed' the 'test' with flying colors. My doctor recommended I take anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. For a long time, I was pretty prejudiced against anti-depressants and for good reason. I had seen one of my relatives turn into a medically induced … Continue reading Happy Pills
Morning Depression
Morning depression is the worst. Starting out every day with a sad heart and heavy soul is extremely difficult. I begin the day feeling dead inside and like there is no point to existing and never truly stop feeling that way. I cannot explain how hard that makes it to continue to function. I have … Continue reading Morning Depression
