A bout of depression has struck me once more. I feel incoherent and irrational today. I keep trying to go back in time and make sense of things. I keep on trying to figure it out - where did I make my first mistake and when did I make my last one? Sometimes, I regret … Continue reading Incoherent and Irrational
Tag: emotional
My Inner Landscape
Craggy and worn like a broken rock on the shoreline of a tumultuous sea, deep and unexplored like the darkest depths of the ocean, teeming with both horrific and indescribable creatures, with enough pressure to crumble mountains to dust - that is my current inner landscape. I alternate between anger and depression. The withdrawal symptoms … Continue reading My Inner Landscape
Uphill Climb
There are so many stories from so many people about their Uphill Climb. I decided I would talk about mine today. I was born into a lower middle class family of four -I have a mother, father and younger sister. We moved a lot, usually on the whim of my father, from continent to continent, … Continue reading Uphill Climb
Day 21
People's deep hatred of my religion deeply disturbs me. It reminds me that I, as a Muslim American, will never really be accepted by those I call friends. People from my ethnicity won't accept me because I am too "American" or "westernized". People of other backgrounds will be afraid of me because they fear what … Continue reading Day 21
Day 20
Warning: There is profanity involved in this entry. Some days I realize how very alone I am...in my beliefs, my wants and needs, my likes and dislikes, my tendency for emotional reactions masked by cool calculation...for my wretchedness in being alone, not being enough, not being nearly enough... I find myself 'failing' repeatedly...and re-hashing all … Continue reading Day 20
Day 19
Seems like all good things arrive together, and leave misery behind at once. It is rare to have one of those perfect days not followed by a terrible day. But today is one of those rarest of rare gems - a day after a wonderful day that does not in any way, shape or form … Continue reading Day 19
Depression Diary 