I live far from all of my extended family. As a result, I had lost all touch with most of them and felt very disconnected from them all. After over a decade, I flew halfway around the world just to see them. After what I learned a couple days ago, I'm really glad I was … Continue reading Disconnecting, reconnecting
Tag: hope
Unwelcome Memories
Ever get blitz attacked by unwelcome memories? Ever find yourself perfectly content, enjoying your morning, doing your thing but then suddenly something - a phrase, a smell, an article on the web - reminds you of an event you have done your best to put behind you and you are suddenly overwhelmed by a deluge … Continue reading Unwelcome Memories
Morning Depression
Morning depression is the worst. Starting out every day with a sad heart and heavy soul is extremely difficult. I begin the day feeling dead inside and like there is no point to existing and never truly stop feeling that way. I cannot explain how hard that makes it to continue to function. I have … Continue reading Morning Depression
Lonely and Alone
Recently, I've been spending a lot of time feeling lonely and alone. This, in turn, makes me feel like a failure, someone who was easily forgotten and possibly replaced, someone with no prospects of a normal life, someone who will never amount to anything, someone who will die alone and unloved. I miss being in … Continue reading Lonely and Alone
Incoherent and Irrational
A bout of depression has struck me once more. I feel incoherent and irrational today. I keep trying to go back in time and make sense of things. I keep on trying to figure it out - where did I make my first mistake and when did I make my last one? Sometimes, I regret … Continue reading Incoherent and Irrational
My Inner Landscape
Craggy and worn like a broken rock on the shoreline of a tumultuous sea, deep and unexplored like the darkest depths of the ocean, teeming with both horrific and indescribable creatures, with enough pressure to crumble mountains to dust - that is my current inner landscape. I alternate between anger and depression. The withdrawal symptoms … Continue reading My Inner Landscape
Tough Pill To Swallow
Someone told me recently that this is an year for renewal. With renewal comes an inevitable ending of some sort or the other. Some of us have lost everything we thought defined us. Some of us had something promising come crashing down around us. Some of us found success in something we never imagine we … Continue reading Tough Pill To Swallow
Dealing with the Aftermath
Hi guys, it has been a while since my last post. It wasn't because I didn't have much to say, it was more because I simply wasn't depressed and thinking about other things helped. The more I focused on positive things, the easier it was to function. Personal relationships can sometimes be a trigger for … Continue reading Dealing with the Aftermath
Uphill Climb
There are so many stories from so many people about their Uphill Climb. I decided I would talk about mine today. I was born into a lower middle class family of four -I have a mother, father and younger sister. We moved a lot, usually on the whim of my father, from continent to continent, … Continue reading Uphill Climb
Born Again
My language is no longer the language of dreams. It is the language of love. I speak no more the language of sorrow. I speak only the language of life. I no longer long for abstract ideals. I only strive to achieve my goals. My heart no longer seeks to find someone to complete me. … Continue reading Born Again